{{first name | Reader}},
Not dramatically. There was no moment. I just stopped volunteering for the thing nobody wanted, stopped rewriting the deck at ten at night, and stopped acting surprised in meetings where the decision had obviously been made in a different meeting.
My review that year said "consistently strong" and "a steadying presence."
The year before, when I was still doing all of it, my review said "consistently strong" and "a valued contributor."
I have thought about this a lot. Somewhere in there is a lesson about the relationship between effort and recognition, and I have decided not to look at it too closely.
A RESIGNATION LETTER I WON’T BE SENDING
To: whoever owns the Monday 8:30
Re: Weekly Sync (Recurring)
Please accept this as my formal resignation from the Weekly Sync, effective immediately.
I have attended 147 of these. In that time we have covered the same four items, in the same order, with the same fourteen people, at least nine of whom have never spoken. Item three has been "in progress" since the previous org structure.
I want to be clear that I bear the meeting no ill will. It has never harmed me. It has simply never done anything else either.
I understand this may be read as a lack of commitment. I would counter that attending 147 meetings about a project that could be described in one email is the most committed thing I have ever done.
I remain available for anything with an actual decision attached. You will find me unusually responsive.
Regards,
DEEPLY UNSETTLING MATH
Say you have eight years left. Say six hours a week of recurring meetings, which is conservative for most of us.
Forty-seven working weeks a year.
That is 2,256 hours.
At eight hours a day, that is 282 working days. A working year is about 250.
You have more than a full working year of recurring meetings ahead of you, and you already know what most of them are going to say.
ONE GENUINELY USEFUL THING: The decline that costs you nothing.
Most people decline meetings badly. They claim a conflict, which invites a reschedule. Or they say nothing and quietly stop showing up, which gets noticed eventually and always at the wrong time.
The version that works is a decline with a reason and an offer:
"I don't think I'm adding much here. Happy to read the notes and flag anything. Pull me in if a decision needs me."
Three things happen. You have not claimed to be busy, so nobody moves the meeting to accommodate you. You have named your own value going down, which nobody ever argues with. And you have left a door open, which reads as reasonable rather than checked out.
Send it to the organizer directly, not the whole invite list. Do it for one recurring meeting, not four. Nobody notices one.
If your organization feeds meeting attendance into anything that touches a review, check that first. Some do.
PARKING LOT
That's the first one.
Write the letter you won't send. Hit reply and send it to me. I'll publish it anonymously, and nobody will ever know it was you.
Go do something that isn't work.
R. Countdown
ANY OTHER BUSINESS
Item three is still in progress.
Enough, Already Club. Form EA-1. Distribution: internal.
Retention: until you leave.